There’s a certain time of year when a collective groan can be heard across the country. No, it’s not when the Christmas adverts start in October, or when people start to arbitrarily set off fireworks in broad daylight... Why do people do this?! YOU CAN’T SEE THEM! Smh… No. It’s when the clocks go back. Yes, that magical Sunday at 2 a.m. when time travel becomes real. And by “real”, I mean utterly pointless and massively bewildering.
Every year, we all act as if this seasonal time shift is brand new. People make the same jokes, feign the same confusion, and mutter the same lines: “Do we lose an hour? Or do we gain one? I can never remember.” Or, “Does that mean I get a lie in, or not?” Well, sit back and relax because I’m here to tell you everything you definitely already know, but are still pretending not to understand, and we’ll even throw in how it messes with your sleep. Spoiler alert: it does. Soz.
when do the clocks change?
The next big clock change is scheduled for 27th October. Start training your brain (and your body) ahead of time if you can. This should make the transition easier to manage. Simply shifting your bedtime and wake up times to 15 minutes earlier progressively until you're at what will be essentially your new wake up and bedtime following the clock change can really help make adjusting to the change much easier.
the origin story of the clock shenanigans
First, let's take a trip back in time (quite literally, because we’re about to fiddle with clocks). The concept of shifting time began as an idea to make better use of daylight during the warmer months. Some brilliant mind thought, "Hey, let’s give people more sunlight after work," and thus, British Summer Time (BST) was born. By the way, that “brilliant mind”, was a builder called William Willett, who happens to be the Great-Great Grandfather of Coldplay frontman, Chris Martin. As if his family hadn’t inflicted enough pain on the world…
It started back during the First World War as a way to save energy, which is ironic because today, if the lights go out for even five minutes, people panic more than someone walking across no-man’s land. But back then, this made sense. They weren’t binge-watching Netflix, so people were desperate for any form of daylight. Fast forward a century, and we’re still clinging to this idea like that old pair of underpants you refuse to throw away.
the autumn adjustment: “fall back” into confusion
Now, the part you’ve been waiting for: the clocks going back. Officially known as the end of Daylight Saving Time, this is when we gain an hour of sleep. Hooray! Except for one tiny, unimportant detail… No one ever knows it’s happening. You go to bed on Saturday night, blissfully unaware, and wake up on Sunday with one of two emotions:
- The “I Slept for an Eternity” Panic: You wake up feeling like it must be Monday because surely you’ve slept through an entire day. Your body is utterly confused, and so is your brain, because the clock says one thing, your phone says another, and your internal clock is laughing hysterically at the whole situation. While running around in tiny circles.
- The “What Year Is It?” Realisation: This occurs when you don’t realise the clocks have gone back, and you blissfully turn up to brunch an hour early. You’re the first one there, and of course, instead of checking if you’re mistaken, you assume everyone else is simply running late. It’s only when the waiter asks if you’d like to start with coffee, that you consider you might be operating in a different time zone from everyone else. Yes, this sounds specific, because it is.
the smartphones: smug, all-knowing timekeepers
Thank goodness for smartphones, eh? Back in the day, before phones automatically updated, you had to perform this Herculean task yourself. Yes, you had to physically change every clock in the house, made worse when people owned clocks bigger than most fridges. Car dashboards? Forget it. Those stayed an hour out of sync for at least six months because no one knew how to adjust them (and let’s be honest, no one even tried). For most of my childhood, I was convinced the little stick thingy that changed the time, actually changed the odometer… Don’t judge, I was an innocent creature.
Nowadays, our phones smugly update themselves, but that doesn’t stop the confusion. Why? Because of the wild variety of timekeeping devices in your life. Some clocks adjust automatically. Some don’t. Others seem to do whatever they please, as if they’re sentient beings with their own little agendas.
Let’s not forget the kitchen appliances. Your oven clock is a ticking time bomb of confusion, and let’s be honest, no one has ever successfully changed the oven clock without first pressing every button like a contestant on The Crystal Maze. And don’t get us started on microwave clocks. They’re the rebels of the clock world, laughing in the face of your attempts to fix them. “You think you can control me? Hah! I’m permanently stuck in GMT now, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Try again, and I’ll make it look like you’re nuking all your sad little ready meals in Djibouti!”
the sleep cycle sabotage
While all this clock madness is going on, there’s one part of you that’s not finding it funny: your body clock. Yep! Despite all the fanfare about gaining an extra hour of sleep, your internal sleep schedule is thrown into complete disarray. It’s like a tiny dose of jetlag, and depressingly enough, you’ve not even been anywhere.
Here’s how it works. Your body, that wonderfully complicated organism, and not-so well-oiled machine, is used to certain rhythms, like when to wake up, when to fall asleep, and when it’s acceptable to eat an entire packet of Fox’s Crunch Creams without guilt. When the clocks change, your circadian rhythm gets a little confused. You might not notice it at first, but slowly, over the next week, things start to feel… off.
- You’re Tired, But Not Really: Sure, it’s dark outside earlier, but your body doesn’t care about the sun. It’s still running on the same old internal clock. So, come bedtime, you’re lying there wide awake, wondering why you’re not drifting off into a blissful slumber. The answer? Your body doesn’t yet know it’s meant to be tired. It’s pretty stupid like that.
- You Wake Up at Ridiculous Hours: As if staying awake longer wasn’t bad enough, you’ll also wake up earlier. Much earlier. Suddenly, you’re wide awake at 5 am, and there’s nothing to do except lie there and contemplate your life choices. And by the time you finally get back to sleep, the alarm is blaring. It’s literally the worst.
- Your Stomach is Betraying You: As if the sleep disruption wasn’t enough, your stomach joins in on the fun. It decides that meal times are now irrelevant. Breakfast at 4 am? Sure. Lunch at 10:30 am? Why not? Dinner at 4 pm? Go for it! All bets are off, and your digestive system is just as confused as you are. A possible plus however, is that you could always stay with your Nan for a while, as it’s probably safe to say that her meal times are scarily similar.
the sleep science bit (bear with me)
Now, if we’re getting technical (and by technical, I mean I’m going to pretend to know what I’m talking about), this disruption is due to your circadian rhythm being messed with. The circadian rhythm is your body’s natural sleep-wake cycle, which is basically regulated by the presence and change of light and darkness. When the clocks go back, your body suddenly finds itself waking up in the dark, and going to bed in the dark. It’s like being in a horror film where time itself is the villain. (Note to self: Movie idea. Villain to be played by the guy who played Moriarty in Sherlock.)
In reality, and how very dare it?! This hour shift can throw off your melatonin production, which is the hormone responsible for making you feel sleepy. With less daylight exposure in the evening, your body isn’t getting the cues it needs to wind down. So, instead of falling into a gentle sleep, you’re left scrolling through cat videos at 11 pm, wondering if you’ll ever feel tired again. But let’s be honest here, you did that before, right? Cat videos are everyone’s jam.
top tips for surviving the time shift
Now that we’ve established the clocks going back is basically the universe’s way of trolling us, how can you cope with the chaos?
- Gradual Adjustment: Try adjusting your sleep schedule by 15 minutes a night in the week leading up to the clock change. This way, you trick your body into the time shift gradually, like a sneaky ninja of sleep. You already have the pyjamas!
- Morning Light Exposure: Get outside in the morning light as soon as possible after waking up. This tells your brain it’s daytime and helps to reset your body clock faster. Plus, a brisk walk in the autumnal chill will wake you up faster than any cup of coffee. Pfft… This isn’t going to happen, right?
- Limit Evening Light Exposure: In the evenings, keep your lights dim and avoid screens that emit blue light. You can even get fancy and invest in some blue light-blocking glasses. Plus, they’ll make you look like you’re about to do something scientific, which is always a bonus.
- Stay Consistent: Once the clocks have changed, try to keep your sleep schedule consistent. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. I know, I know, it sounds awful, but it works. Apparently.
conclusion: time is but an illusion (except when you’re late for work)
In the end, the clock change is one of life’s great annoyances, like stepping on a Lego brick, or stepping on a slug in bare feet, or OOH OOH stepping on an upturned plug... AAAAARGH! Sorry, stepping on stuff is just the worst. Anyway, it comes around every year, and no matter how prepared you think you are, it’s always going to catch you off guard, and sometimes even kick your butt a bit. But hey! At least we get to enjoy the bizarre conversations with people at the office about whether we’ve gained or lost an hour, right? RIGHT?!
Just remember, the clocks going back is the universe’s way of giving you a tiny taste of time travel. A very, very tiny taste. In fact, it’s more of a weird smell… So, take advantage of that extra hour (or don’t), and be prepared for a week of sleep chaos. Because after all, time waits for no one… except for when it does.