Blue Monday—the day the universe collectively decided to pick on our morale. Statistically branded as "the most depressing day of the year," it’s essentially Monday’s final form: moody, unrelenting, and wearing a scarf of drizzle. But fear not! Today, we’re here to defy the gloom, squash the doom, and perhaps, giggle our way out of the January blues.
So, grab a cup of tea, put on your fluffiest socks, and let’s tackle this infamous day with the grace of a cat slipping on a polished floor.
1. laugh in the face of misery
If laughter is the best medicine, then Blue Monday is the ideal patient. Pop on a comedy special, scroll through some memes, or, if you’re feeling particularly daring, attempt to tell a joke yourself (disclaimer: dad jokes come with no warranty).
Example:
“What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.”
Are you smiling? Yes? Good. No? Well, it’s Blue Monday; we’re working with limited resources here.
If that doesn’t do the trick, just Google “dogs wearing sunglasses.” It’s impossible to feel sad when a Dachshund looks cooler than you ever will.
2. dress to depress no more
Yes, we’re in January, the month where grey reigns supreme. But that doesn’t mean your wardrobe needs to look like a black-and-white film. Break the monotony with colours so loud they could double as a high-vis jacket.
Wear a sunshine-yellow jumper, neon pink socks, or that Hawaiian shirt you impulsively bought on holiday, thinking, “This’ll look great at home.” Spoiler alert: it does. You might get strange looks on the Tube, but that’s just free entertainment.
3. dance like nobody’s judging
Ever tried to be sad while shimmying? It’s physically impossible. So, crank up your favourite playlist and unleash those moves you wouldn’t dare display in public.
The best part? Nobody’s watching, unless your cat has opinions about your attempts at the Macarena.
Pro tip: choose songs with nonsensical lyrics—it’s hard to overthink life’s woes when you’re singing, “I’m blue da ba dee da ba daa.”
4. treat yourself like royalty (budget-friendly edition)
Blue Monday often coincides with post-Christmas financial regret. But don’t let that stop you from indulging. Treat yourself to the simple pleasures in life.
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Bubble baths: Even if your bath is comically small, you’ll feel like Cleopatra—except instead of milk, it’s budget lavender-scented bubbles.
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Fancy drinks: Brew your tea in your fanciest mug. Add a splash of honey and pretend it’s an exotic elixir.
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Snacks fit for a king: Elevate your crisps by serving them in a bowl instead of eating straight from the bag. It’s all about the illusion of luxury.
5. take a walk on the bright side
Yes, it’s cold, yes, it’s probably raining, and yes, the sun sets before you’ve finished your afternoon tea. But trust us, a quick stroll outside can work wonders for your mood.
Even if your “outside” consists of walking to the end of the garden to wave at next door’s grumpy cat, it counts. Fresh air is nature’s way of saying, “Cheer up, buttercup!”
6. reframe your life with absurd optimism
Blue Monday makes us all philosophical, like the universe handed us a dark, poetic beret. But what if you turned your woes into wins?
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Rainy day? Think of it as free car washing for pedestrians.
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Your train’s delayed? Extra reading time! Or extra moaning time—both are therapeutic.
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A bill arrived? It’s proof that someone thinks you’re worth contacting. Silver linings, friends.
7. the ultimate distraction: organise a drawer
Nothing says, “I’m getting my life together” like rearranging your sock drawer. Sure, the rest of the house might look like a tornado’s aftermath, but that neatly folded sock collection? Chef’s kiss.
Bonus points if you find a long-lost treasure, like a pair of gloves you forgot you owned or a single earring that makes you feel like a pirate.
8. share the joy (even if it’s awkward)
Sometimes the best way to beat Blue Monday is to make someone else smile. Compliment a stranger’s scarf, hold the door open, or send a ridiculous GIF to a friend.
Be warned, British etiquette makes this tricky. Complimenting someone in public might earn you a suspicious side-eye. But who knows? You could make their day—or at least provide them with a quirky anecdote about “that weirdo at Tesco.”
9. adopt a new hobby (or pretend to)
Ever wanted to knit a scarf, bake a soufflé, or learn Japanese calligraphy? Blue Monday is the perfect day to start—mainly because no one expects you to succeed.
Attempting something new reminds you that life isn’t just about surviving Mondays. It’s about surviving them while covered in flour, tangled in yarn, or staring blankly at YouTube tutorials.
10. cry if you need to (then laugh about it)
Let’s be real, Blue Monday is tough. If you feel like having a good cry, go for it—it’s like a pressure release valve for your soul.
Then, once you’ve let it out, watch a video of a baby laughing uncontrollably. Laughter and tears are surprisingly close cousins, and one often leads to the other.
11. plan something fun
January may feel endless, but it’s not eternal. Plan a treat for February—a day trip, a dinner out, or simply “Pizza Night: Deluxe Edition.” Having something to look forward to is like dangling a carrot in front of your inner Eeyore.
12. embrace the chaos
If all else fails, lean into the absurdity of Blue Monday. Wear pyjamas all day, eat breakfast for dinner, and declare yourself “King of Sofa Land.” Sometimes, the best way to beat the blues is to embrace them, laugh at their melodrama, and remind yourself that tomorrow is, well, Tuesday.
So, there you have it—your fool-proof guide to flipping Blue Monday on its gloomy head. Remember, even if today feels like a soggy biscuit in the tea of life, it’s just one day. And you, my friend, are the person who can turn that biscuit into a delightful trifle of joy.
Now go forth, smile like a loon, and make this Blue Monday anything but blue! Until next time, eve Sleep.
