Ah, naps; those glorious little chunks of shut-eye that remind us what it's like to live without the weight of adulthood crushing our souls into diamonds. Once the domain of toddlers and retirees, napping has now become a legitimate part of adult life, and frankly, we couldn’t be happier. This is a love letter to the humble nap, the cheeky kip, the sneaky snooze. Let’s dive in, shall we?
the art of the nap
Napping is not just lying down and hoping for the best. No, no, no dear reader. Napping is an art form. It’s about striking the perfect balance between rest and responsibility. Too short, and you wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck, too long, and you’re basically cosplaying as a zombie for the rest of the day, except with excessive quantities of drool involved.
The perfect nap length, according to scientists (or at least the ones who like naps as much as we do), is somewhere between 10 and 30 minutes (1). Anything longer and you risk plunging into the dreaded sleep inertia — a phenomenon where you wake up groggy, disoriented, and questioning all of your life choices. In other words, the morning-after kebab of the sleep world. Nowhere near as delish, however.
types of nappers: which one are you?
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The power napper: These absolute legends can lie down, set a timer for 15 minutes, and wake up feeling like they’ve conquered Everest. They’re efficient, smug, and probably have all the lids for their Tupperware at home. Psychopaths.
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The accidental napper: This is the person who sits down to “rest their eyes” and wakes up three hours later wondering what year it is. Often found in front of the TV, clutching a cold cup of tea, which now presides all over their lap. If you’re not a spiller, then you have my respect. Teach us your ways, O wise one.
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The “I deserve this” napper: These people treat naps like a reward. Did you survive a meeting that could have been an email? Nap. Cook a meal that didn’t involve the microwave? Nap. Successfully parallel park? You bet your sweet pyjamas, it’s nap time, my friend.
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The nap hater: Rare, but they exist. These people claim they “can’t nap” or that naps “make them feel worse.”
the perfect nap spot
In our humble opining, a good nap is 90% location, 10% determination. You can’t just drop your head anywhere and hope for the best. No, you need “the spot”. Here are a few contenders:
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The sofa nap. A classic. You curl up under a throw that’s two sizes too small, and within seconds you’re out cold. Bonus points if there’s a random daytime TV show droning on in the background. Ah… The days of blissfully napping through This Morning, Trisha, and Loose Women. Bliss.
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The car nap. This one’s for the desperate. Maybe you’re on a road trip, or maybe you’re just hiding from your responsibilities (I feel you dude). Either way, leaning your head against the window is a rite of passage. Just make sure it’s somewhere safe, and for goodness sake, at least while the car is stationary. Smh…
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The desk nap. The lunchtime power move. You’re hunched over like Quasimodo, hoping no one catches you. If you can master the “I wasn’t sleeping, I was thinking” face, you’re golden. And no, no one believes that you’re just concentrating really hard on your work… Believe us.
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The bed nap. The Rolls-Royce of naps. You crawl into bed, full pyjamas on, maybe even set the mood with a blackout curtain. Sure, it’s dangerously close to actual sleep, but who’s judging? The cat? Why of course! But when are they not?
nap etiquette: dos and don’ts
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DO announce your nap intentions. Let your housemates, family, or colleagues know you’re about to embark on a journey to the land of nod. It’s polite, and it also stops them from yelling your name when you’ve just hit peak dreamland.
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DON’T nap during a family gathering. We don’t care how boring Uncle Dave’s Brexit rant gets; disappearing to “rest your eyes” could be considered a declaration of war.
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DO set an alarm. Otherwise, you’ll wake up in a panic thinking you’ve missed a flight, your wedding (engaged or not), or the apocalypse.
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DON’T nap with your phone in your hand. You’ll either drop it on your face or wake up to find you’ve accidentally ordered 17 pairs of Crocs off Amazon. Again.
the nap hall of fame: famous snoozers
Did you know some of the greatest minds in history were nappers? Oh yes, napping has a long and noble lineage.
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Winston Churchill: The man had a world war to win, but he still made time for a daily siesta. His motto? “You must sleep some time between lunch and dinner.” A leader and an icon. Rest in power, my man.
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Albert Einstein: He credited his genius to regular naps and 10-hour nightly sleeps. Proof that being well-rested is basically a superpower. The guy basically fathered modern physics, so don’t complain that you can’t take on the world, you’ve got this!
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Salvador Dalí: The surrealist painter took “micro-naps” where he’d fall asleep holding a spoon. When the spoon dropped, he’d wake up and start painting. Weird, but effective. You’d think a paintbrush would be a far better method of painting… It takes “spooning” to a whole new level!
the nap debate: lazy or legendary?
Let’s address the sleepy elephant in the room: some people think naps are for the lazy. But napping isn’t laziness; it’s self-care. It’s a way to recharge, refocus, and avoid snapping at strangers in the supermarket queue. Though if you push in, you just deserve it, OK?
And let’s not forget, humans aren’t even designed to stay awake for 16 hours straight. Back in the day, our ancestors probably napped under trees between hunting mammoths and inventing fire or whatever. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for us. We wonder if they wore “UGG” Boots… OK, time to stop.
the science of napping
Alright, let’s get nerdy with it. Napping has legit health benefits. Studies show it can improve memory, boost creativity, and even lower stress. It’s like a protein shake for your brain — minus the faff of blending bananas, then cleaning the blender, then putting the blender on top of the cupboard, then 12 months later finding the blender, then trying to clean the kitchen fudge from the blender.
Short naps (around 20 minutes remember?) are ideal for a quick energy boost, while longer naps (60-90 minutes) can help with problem-solving and learning. Basically, if you’re not napping, you’re leaving IQ points on the table. A truly awful place to put them.
the perils of over-napping
Of course, napping isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There’s a dark side to overindulgence. We’ve all been there: you close your eyes for a quick snooze, and next thing you know it’s dark outside, you’ve missed dinner, and you’re questioning everything you thought you knew.
Over-napping can mess with your nighttime sleep, leaving you wide awake at 3am, scrolling through conspiracy theories about why Donald Trump’s arms aren’t real. It’s a slippery slope, folks. Food for thought though…
how to nail the nap every time
Here, we present the life hack for napping. Basically, we’re giving you the formula for perfecting the humble nap. Or at least our first-hand napping life hacks anyway. And who doesn’t love a life hack?
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Pick your moment: The best time to nap is early afternoon, when your circadian rhythm dips and your body basically screams, “SLEEP NOW OR PERISH.”
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Create a nap sanctuary: Quiet, dark, and comfy. If your neighbour decides to mow the lawn mid-nap, consider moving house.
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Set an alarm: We can’t stress this enough. Without an alarm, you may as well get your violin out, and play ‘Nearer my God to Thee’, while the sinking ship that is your life dips below the surface my buddy.
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Embrace the post-nap fog: Basically, you’ll feel like a confused sloth for five minutes after waking up. Push through. You’ve got this. It happens.
napping: our final thoughts
Napping isn’t just a pastime; it’s a lifestyle. It’s about reclaiming those little pockets of peace in a world that demands too much from us. So next time someone mocks your midday kip, remind them that Churchill, Einstein, and Dalí were all nap enthusiasts, so you’re just changing the world, one snooze at a time.
And if that doesn’t shut them up, just yawn dramatically and walk away. You’ve got more important things to do — like nap. So, grab your favourite blanket, find your perfect spot, and drift off into sweet oblivion. Because life’s too short, and frankly mental, to stay awake for all of it. Until next time, eve sleep.
