Circadian Rhythm Disorders (CRDs) are proof that even your internal clock can hit snooze, show up late, or get entirely lost in a different time zone. Your circadian rhythm is supposed to be the dependable friend you can rely on, that tells your body when to sleep, wake, and feel hungry. But when it decides to go rogue, chaos ensues. Welcome to the wacky, topsy-turvy world of CRDs, where morning people, night owls, and jet-lag zombies all unite in collective confusion.
what are circadian rhythm disorders?
Your circadian rhythm is the natural, 24-hour cycle that regulates your sleep-wake pattern. Think of it as your body’s built-in alarm clock, but instead of ringing, it uses hormones like melatonin and cortisol to gently nudge you towards sleep or alertness.
Circadian Rhythm Disorders occur when this “clock” goes kaplowie! Instead of aligning with the natural light-dark cycle, your rhythm decides to march to the beat of its own drum. Sometimes it’s early, sometimes it’s late, and sometimes it’s completely off the rails. You’re welcome!
the usual suspects: types of CRDs
1. Delayed sleep-wake phase disorder (DSWPD)
This one’s for the night owls who’d thrive in a world where 2am is the new 8am. If you can’t fall asleep until the wee hours and waking up before noon feels like a war crime, congrats—you might have DSWPD. Slow clap initiated.
2. Advanced sleep-wake phase disorder (ASWPD)
This is the polar opposite of DSWPD. These folks are the early birds who fall asleep before the evening news and wake up at the crack of dawn, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. It’s charming until you realise it’s a Saturday, and no one else is awake.
3. Irregular sleep-wake rhythm disorder
This is the jazz improv of sleep disorders. There’s no rhyme or reason to your sleep pattern; you just nap whenever your body says, “Now’s the time,” which could be 4pm, 10pm, or 3am. Chaos. But you do you Miles Davis!
4. Non-24-hour sleep-wake disorder
Most common in people who are visually impaired (1), this disorder occurs when your internal clock doesn’t quite sync with the 24-hour day. You might feel ready for bed at a new time every day, like your body’s decided to celebrate the all new holiday, “permanent jet lag day”. Except it’s not a day, it’s forever. Yummy.
5. Jet lag disorder
Speaking of jet lag, this one happens when you fly across time zones faster than your circadian rhythm can keep up. It’s like leaving your body clock back in Heathrow while you’ve already landed in Sydney. And it fully sucks.
6. Shift work disorder
If your job involves working late nights or early mornings, your circadian rhythm probably feels like it’s stuck on a broken roundabout. Shout out to the night shift heroes whose internal clocks have been reduced to rubble.
the science: blame the suprachiasmatic nucleus
At the centre of your circadian rhythm lies the Suprachiasmatic Nucleus (SCN), a tiny cluster of neurons in your brain’s hypothalamus. This powerhouse synchronises your body’s processes with the external world, primarily using light as its guide. When light hits your eyes, it signals the SCN to say, “YO! Wake up maaaaan!” Darkness, on the other hand, tells it, “Woah now sugar, time to go to chill town.” Just us? Nice (2).
But what happens when you binge Netflix until 3am, work odd hours, or fly across the globe? Your SCN gets confused, and your circadian rhythm decides to freestyle.
symptoms of circadian chaos
Living with a Circadian Rhythm Disorder is akin to trying to follow a screenplay written by a toddler. Or any of our regular article rants… Anyway! Here are some tell-tale signs:
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Difficulty falling asleep or waking up at socially acceptable times. (Being awake at 3am but dead to the world at 10am is not ideal.)
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Daytime fatigue. (You’re constantly battling the urge to nap like a professional siesta artist.)
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Reduced productivity. (Blame your body clock for that missed deadline, not Netflix.)
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Social jet lag. (Your friends are telling you “bruuuuuunch”, but your body’s telling you, “bedtiiiiiiiime!”)
the struggles are real
1. The perpetual snooze button
Ever tried to wake up early with DSWPD? It’s like wrestling a bear in quicksand. No matter how many alarms you set, your body just laughs and says, “Not today.”
2. The unfashionably early bird
On the flip side, ASWPD sufferers might find themselves wide awake at 4am, contemplating life while the rest of the world is still dreaming. It’s hard to feel cool when your bedtime rivals that of an infant.
3. Jet lag jamboree
Flying across multiple time zones seems glamorous — until you’re wide awake at midnight in Tokyo, wondering if it’s too early for sushi. Spoiler: it’s never too early for sushi.
living with CRDs: a daily comedy of errors
Imagine trying to explain your sleep disorder to your boss.
“Why were you late to the meeting?”
“Oh, my circadian rhythm thinks it’s still yesterday.”
Dating? A minefield.
“Want to grab dinner at 8?”
“That’s my bedtime, but how’s 4:30 tomorrow morning for you?”
And don’t get us started on family gatherings. Your gran already thinks you're lazy for waking up at noon, and now you have to explain that your body is, scientifically speaking, on Australian time.
tips to tame your timekeeper
While CRDs can’t always be cured, there are ways to nudge your body clock back into sync:
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Light therapy: Expose yourself to bright light in the morning if you’re a night owl, or avoid it in the evening if you’re an early bird. (No, your phone screen doesn’t count as “light therapy.”)
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Melatonin supplements: This over-the-counter supplement can help regulate your sleep cycle. It’s like sending your brain a polite “Go to bed” email.
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Stick to a schedule: Consistency is key. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. Yes, even after that wild Saturday night of falling asleep on the sofa, and waking up covered in Wotsit dust, shame, and half a melted Toblerone stuck to your joggers. Or at least you hope. Jinkies!
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Avoid stimulants and screens: Caffeine and blue light from devices can mess with your rhythm. Basically, no espresso martinis or TikTok marathons before bed. OK?
when to call the sleep pros
If your circadian rhythm has gone so rogue that it’s affecting your job, relationships, or general sanity, it might be time to consult a sleep specialist. They can run tests, like a polysomnography (say that 5 times, fast) or an actigraphy, to figure out what’s really going on with your nocturnal nonsense. A GP can refer you to a sleep clinic, so get yourself down there, and sit with the sick people for a bit. It’s a hoot!
the funny side of CRDs
Let’s be real — there’s something darkly amusing about arguing with your own body clock.
"Oh, it’s 11pm? Let’s do our best thinking right now!"
"It’s 2pm? Perfect time for an existential nap."
Living with a Circadian Rhythm Disorder means becoming fluent in sleep maths: "If I fall asleep now, I’ll get four hours. If I don’t, I’ll cry into my coffee tomorrow. Free refills! Yippee!"
And don’t even get us started on social events. Explaining to your friends why you can’t make it to their 9pm party is like trying to convince them you’re not secretly 80 years old. When really, you’re secretly 91. We won’t tell anyone.
embracing the madness
Circadian Rhythm Disorders might make you feel like a nocturnal weirdo in a daytime world, but they’re also a reminder that everyone’s body clock is unique. While society may worship the early bird, it’s the night owls who keep the midnight oil burning and the jet-lagged souls who remind us to laugh at life’s absurdities.
So, whether you’re wide awake at 3am or napping at your desk, remember this: you’re not broken — you’re just running on a different time zone. Own it, laugh about it, and maybe invest in a really good alarm clock. And buy us some AA batteries for ours, thank you please. Until next time, eve sleep.
