Remember, remember, the fifth of November… but also remember your pets! Bonfire Night is that shimmering time of year when us Brits gather under crisp, autumn skies, indiscriminately launching incredibly dangerous burning chemicals into the air, without any training whatsoever, to celebrate a plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament, that didn’t quite go as planned. Strange but true, it’s the British way! However, while we humans marvel at the fireworks, our furry, feathered, and scaled friends (if you’re into that) often have a rather different experience. A series of wild bangs and explosions that seem, from a pet’s point of view, to mark the end of days.
So, how can we strike a balance between revelry and rest, fireworks and fur, toffee apples and toe beans? Here’s an oh-so-useful guide to help everyone enjoy Bonfire Night, whether you’re a die-hard firework fan, or the proud owner of a particularly skittish guinea pig.
first things first - planning your own bonfire (a.k.a. fireworks vs. pets)
It’s the quintessential question of the season: “To firework or not to firework?” If you’re planning your own display, let’s discuss a few important details that’ll make everyone (neighbouring cats included) a bit happier.
tip 1: choose your timing wisely
Start early. This isn’t just to keep the kids from falling asleep before the grand finale; it’s also kinder to pets, giving them the luxury of knowing the show won’t last forever. Remember, from your cat’s perspective, each firework is an aerial alien invasion. They don’t understand why we’re doing what we’re doing, and let’s face it, we barely do…
tip 2: go for the “quieter” fireworks
Yes, such things exist! Quiet fireworks are still bright and colourful, but produce waaaaaay less noise. Think of it as a considerate compromise between pyrotechnic pleasure and sparing the eardrums of anything within a half-mile radius. You’ll still get your light show, and your pets won’t consider staging a mini-revolution in protest. The sweetest uprising of all time, a “cute-iny” if you will.
tip 3: avoid sparklers near… anything
Sparklers are essentially mini lightsabres, except without the cool sound effects, or the weird family history. SHE’S YOUR SISTER, DUDE! Anyway. They burn hotter than a hot thing, and require only a brief lapse in concentration to turn a family get-together into an impromptu cremation... Never the one. Enjoy them safely at arm’s length, and well away from pets, because nothing says, “I’ll stay inside forever” like a scorched tail or singed whisker. NOTHING.
the great indoors: preparing your home for bonfire night
On Bonfire Night, pets and people alike may prefer the comfort of the great indoors. Here’s how to make your home a pet-friendly fortress against unexpected booms and crackles.
tip 1: turn the living room into a cosy fortress
Create a comfy, enclosed space for your pet, a “Bonfire Bunker” of sorts. Ideally, make it in the heart of the house, where outside noises are the most muffled. Equip it with their favourite blankets, a few (quiet) chew toys, and a treat or nine. For the full experience, playing some soothing background noise to drown out the commotion is a good idea. Classical music or a David Attenborough documentary would do the trick, as long as it doesn’t show animals being mauled to death… They really don’t need that right now.
tip 2: close the curtains, close the windows
Shutting out the noise and flashing lights can do wonders. Make sure windows are closed to keep out noise, and draw those curtains tight. This will help your pet feel safe and secure, especially if they’re of the “see no evil, hear no evil” persuasion when it comes to flashing lights. Which they probably are, they’re lovely, but they’re also idiots.
tip 3: aromatherapy and calming scents
For the particularly jumpy pets, consider using calming sprays or pheromone diffusers designed for animals. Lavender scents (not too strong! This isn’t your Nan’s house) and even a little dab of chamomile can sometimes work wonders, calming the senses just enough to make the difference between a stressed-out pooch and a snoozing pup. Bless their teeny tiny hearts…
the great outdoors: outdoor pets and livestock
Not every pet has the luxury of hiding indoors. For those animals that live outside, like rabbits, chickens, horses, and the like, you know, the one’s that aren’t in your house? Bonfire Night can be even more of an ordeal. Here are some ways to keep them as calm as possible.
tip 1: cover their enclosures
If you have rabbits or other small animals in outdoor hutches, maybe try putting a thick blanket or heavy-duty tarp over their enclosures. This helps to muffle sounds and prevent flashes of light that will make them jump out of their fuzzy pants. Ensure there's enough ventilation though, so they don’t end up with “bonfire night sauna” instead. Unless you’re a fan of steamed rabbit. Delish…
tip 2: bring in your best “distractor-in-chief”
A lot of animals respond positively to a distraction. You can create a foraging box for rabbits or small animals by hiding treats among shredded paper in a box. For horses, maybe an extra treat or a hay net can go a long way in keeping their minds occupied, far away from any thoughts of what that loud boom could have been. It’s tricky business, but it’s all part of being a pet owner unfortunately!
tip 3: give livestock some company (the more, the merrier)
Horses and livestock are herd animals, so try to keep them together for a bit of extra comfort. In a pasture or stable with some buddy buddies around, animals tend to feel safer and are less likely to have a wild panic (1).
tips for the “human pets” i.e. small children
You can’t forget the two-legged creatures in the house, and no, not your dog when it does that adorable dance on its hindlegs... WE CAN’T COPE! Ahem… While many children adore Bonfire Night, others may find the noise a bit much. Here’s how to keep them (and yourself) calm and collected.
tip 1: headphones are your best friend, saddo…
Noise-cancelling headphones can be an absolute game-changer. If you have children sensitive to loud sounds, pop some on their heads, not loud sounds, headphones sicko... You could also offer them earmuffs, which help take the edge off but still allow them to enjoy the sight of the fireworks. This is also a winner if you’re at an outdoor display, as it can get a trifle nippy! Good racehorse name…
tip 2: make it a “campout” inside
Turn the evening into a cosy “camp-in.” Set up a tent in the living room, dim the lights, and make it a sleepover with blankets, hot chocolate, and a movie. Who doesn’t love a marshmallow toasted over a candle (supervised, of course)? It’s the festive part of Bonfire Night without the bangs and frights. Add some buttery crumpets and you’re in for a truly cosy night, trust us. Also a good racehorse name…
the morning after: post-bonfire night clean-up (and recovery)
After all the noise and excitement, both you and your pets might need a little recuperation. Here’s how to start the day on a high note (and with no lingering embers).
tip 1: check the garden
Bonfire Night leaves behind a surprising amount of debris; spent fireworks, sparkler sticks, maybe even a rogue toffee apple wrapper, left behind by that kid down the street who is clearly being dragged up, not brought up... Little litter bug. Give your garden a quick inspection before letting pets back outside. These remnants can be hazardous, especially to pets that think “chew first, ask questions later.” Which is all of them, in our experience anyway.
tip 2: treats and TLC
Give your pets a bit of post-celebration care. A tasty treat, some extra cuddles, and a bit of outdoor time (for pets who are keen) can go a long way in easing any lingering nerves from the previous evening’s chaos. They’re very forgiving/forgetful creatures, so all will be well soon.
tip 3: show the neighbours some love too
In the spirit of good neighbourly conduct, if you went heavy on the fireworks, maybe send a little thank-you note (or even a box of chocolates) around to your neighbours. Who knows? Next year, they might even bring their pets over to join the festivities!
bonfire night: final thoughts
Bonfire Night is a brilliant British tradition, but it’s one that should go hand-in-paw with a bit of extra care for our animal friends. So, let the fireworks fly, but also let the cosiness and calm abound. Whether it’s through low-noise fireworks, strategic pet distractions, or a living-room “camp-in,” there are plenty of ways to enjoy the night and help everyone, including the pets, have a memorable (but not traumatic) fifth of November.
Cheers to a festive, fabulous, and pet-friendly Bonfire Night! Until next time, eve sleep.