Ah, mornings. The time of day when the sun rises, the birds chirp, and you groggily hit the snooze button for the fifth time (at best). If you're anything like us, mornings can feel more like a Herculean task than a fresh start. But fear not, our fellow snoozy friends, night owls and reluctant risers! Here’s a little guide to turning your groggy grumbles into gleeful greetings...
1. the coffee conundrum
Nothing says "good morning" like a cup of piping hot coffee, though if your coffee is actually doing that, you either need medication, or to give your mug a decent clean. If you're fancy, a triple-venti-half-sweet-non-fat-caramel-macchiato. The trick here is not to spill it on your way to the couch. If you manage to do that, congratulations! You've already won the first battle of the day. Bonus points if you don't accidentally use salt instead of sugar. I did this two weeks ago, and I’ll never forgive myself. Don’t be like me.
2. the shower serenade
Water hitting your face can be quite the wake-up call. But why stop there? Belt out your favourite tunes in the shower. Sure, your neighbours might not appreciate your 7 a.m. rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody," but hey, it's a proven fact that starting your day with a mini rock concert makes you 73% more awesome. Probably. Also, I know it sucks more than a sucky thing on suck day, but just try turning the heat down in the shower, it’s more refreshing and has been proven to do a load of cool body stuff that’s pretty good for you…
3. the pet parade
Pets have a magical way of making mornings better. Whether it's your cat demanding breakfast with a melodramatic meow and a floor routine that would make a prima ballerina green with envy, or your dog enthusiastically greeting you like they haven't seen you in years, pets can bring a smile to your face even before your first cup of coffee. Engage in a little playtime or a quick cuddle session. If you don't have a pet, consider borrowing a neighbours' pet for a few minutes of joy. Just remember to return it afterwards.
4. the breakfast buffet (kind of)
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but who has time for that? Also, making any major body movements that aren’t for snoozing purposes before 9am should be illegal. Instead, master the art of the “grab-and-go” meal. A banana here, a granola bar there, and if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, throw in a yogurt. Definitely don’t throw it though, you’ll be cleaning Muller Corner out of your dog’s fur/child’s hair for weeks. Just avoid the temptation to count your coffee as a meal – that’s a slippery slope, my friend. OOOOOOOOH is it a slippery slope.
5. the exercise experiment
Some people like to start their day with a vigorous workout. Believe us, they exist! For the rest of us however, a gentle stretch or a quick walk to the post box and back can suffice. Ours is within coughing distance of the front door, if we cough particularly hard. We know, we’re athletes...
If you're really dedicated, try a quick morning yoga session. If you fall back asleep in child's pose, no one has to know.
6. the commuter’s comedy
If you have to brave the morning commute, turn it into a fun experience. Create a playlist of your favourite stand-up comedy routines, or listen to a podcast about something bizarre, like competitive dog grooming. At the very least, it’ll make the traffic jam a bit more bearable. And remember, road rage is unbecoming before 9am. In fact, it’s not an ideal state of mind at any time of the day.
7. the pep talk
Sometimes, the best way to start your day is with a little self-encouragement. Look in the mirror and give yourself a motivational speech, or if needed, a ruddy good talking to. Quotes from movies like “You’re gonna need a bigger boat” or “May the Force be with you” can be surprisingly effective, even if they make no sense in context. Especially so, sometimes! Plus, nothing screams confidence and good mental health like talking to yourself in the mirror. Remember, check yourself before you wreck yourself.
8. the digital detox (not really)
Okay, let's be real. Most of us start our day by scrolling through social media. Usually while sitting on the toilet until we can’t feel our feet anymore. Instead of fighting it, embrace it! Check your messages, laugh at memes, and watch a few cat videos. Just try not to fall into a two-hour rabbit hole of “funny fail compilations.” Your boss might not find “I lost track of time because of adorable kittens” a valid excuse for being late. Not any boss we want to know anyway…
9. the wardrobe wobble
Choosing what to wear can be a proper minefield. Will today be a “professional attire” day, or is it more of a “pyjamas that could pass for workout clothes” kind of day? Some days are “dressed from the waist up” days, mostly for the purpose of Teams meetings… When in doubt, just remember: anything is possible with the right amount of confidence. And if anyone questions your choices, just tell them you’re starting a new fashion trend. Who are they to judge? You do you!
10. the meditative moment
Before diving headfirst into the chaos of the day, take a moment for yourself. Find a quiet spot, sit comfortably, and breathe deeply. Meditation can help you centre your mind and set a positive tone for the day. If traditional meditation isn't your thing, try a few minutes of mindful silence, visualising your goals for the day, or even a quick journaling session. Writing down your thoughts can clear your mind and spark creativity. And if you end up doodling instead, that's perfectly fine – who said you can't start your day with a masterpiece?
conclusion: the perfect morning
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to starting your day right. Whether you’re a coffee enthusiast, a shower singer, or a pyjama-wearing trendsetter, the key is to find what makes you happy and embrace it. So here’s to mornings, in all their bleary-eyed, bed-headed glory. May yours be filled with laughter, coffee stains, and just the right amount of chaos.
Remember, every great day starts with a great morning – or at least, a morning that’s good enough, or even just happens. Until next time, eve sleep.