Welcome to the world of bedroom etiquette, where common sense and unspoken rules collide to create a harmonious (or hilariously chaotic) sleeping environment.
In a recent survey, we asked 2,000 participants to take a long, hard think and tell us honestly whether they ever get annoyed with their partner in bed? When posing this question, we asked the respondents to think about things like stealing the duvet cover, taking up all the space, and any other negative bed-based behaviours. We’ll take you through those survey results in just a moment.
But our main goal here is giving you some basic rules for being mindful of your other half at bedtime. So, whether you’re shacked up with a partner, sharing a room, or just want to stop offending your own reflection, here’s a down-to-earth guide to avoiding bedtime drama. But first, let’s dig into the stats revealed by our survey.
what we discovered about bedroom dos and don’ts
Not so long ago, we surveyed 2,000 people in the UK and posed the question: do you ever get annoyed with your other half in bed?
Unsurprisingly, an overwhelming majority of you said yes! In fact, 54% of all respondents answered yes, sometimes to this very question. What’s more, over 14% of you declared that the frequency of you getting annoyed with your partner in bed was actually much more than sometimes. 14.3% of you were adamant that you get annoyed with your partner all the time.
And yes, we have no doubt that you maths whizzes out there will be busy calculating what percentage of people responded no. Well, we can tell you that the number of people in the UK not getting hot and bothered by their partner (in the negative way, of course) at bedtime was just 31.7% of respondents. That’s less than 1 in 3.
As such, we thought it was definitely time to put bedroom etiquette to bed. Read on for our recommended dos and don’ts when it comes to bedtime for couples.
1. thou shalt not hog the duvet
The duvet is a shared resource, not a personal cocoon. Wrapping yourself up like a Greggs sausage roll while your partner shivers in the Arctic tundra of their side is a punishable offence in most relationships. If you can’t share like a civilised human, consider a separate duvet situation. (Yes, it’s a thing. And yes, it works.)
2. eating in bed is a slippery slope
A cheeky cuppa? Fair play. A biscuit? Risky, but acceptable. Full-on fish and chips in bed? Absolutely not. Nothing kills the romance quite like rolling onto a stray oven chip at 2 a.m. Crumbs in bed are like glitter—once they’re there, you’ll never get rid of them. Keep the snacks to the sofa.
3. pyjama politics
Pyjamas (or lack thereof) are a hot topic in the bedroom. For the love of Marks & Spencer, wear something that’s comfortable but not so ancient it looks like it’s been passed down from the Blitz. Your “lucky” holey boxers or that faded Spice Girls T-shirt may be functional, but they’re not pulling their weight in the attractiveness department.
4. phone time is over at bedtime
Scrolling TikTok with your screen on full brightness while your partner’s trying to sleep is how civil wars start. If you must doomscroll, keep it on silent and dim the screen—or, better yet, pop on some sleep music and call it a night.
5. the snoring Truce
If you snore, accept it. If your partner snores, learn to cope. Snoring complaints are the Brexit of bedroom etiquette: divisive, loud, and often impossible to fix. Earplugs, white noise machines, or a gentle shove followed by “You’re snoring again, love” are all viable solutions.
6. pillow boundaries matter
There’s no bigger betrayal than waking up to find your head resting on a sliver of pillow while your bed fellow has formed a pillow mountain fortress on their side. Be generous: two pillows each is the gold standard.
7. don’t be a bed invader
Sleeping positions are a delicate negotiation. Starfishing across the entire bed or draping your leg over someone like a human anaconda is selfish behaviour. Stick to your side unless invited—this isn’t WWE SmackDown.
8. midnight fidgeting is a crime
If you’re prone to tossing and turning, don’t turn the bed into a trampoline. Subtle shifting is fine; full-blown gymnastics are not. Invest in a decent mattress – one that minimises motion transfer such as a memory foam mattress – for both of your sakes.
9. temperature wars
British homes are notoriously bad at staying the right temperature. One of you will always be too hot, and the other will be freezing. The solution? Layers. Chuck a blanket their way and leave the thermostat alone—you don’t need to reenact Game of Thrones every winter.
10. morning rules apply
Just because you’re awake doesn’t mean the whole world needs to be. Morning larks: respect the peace and keep your rustling, clattering, and whistling to a minimum. Night owls: try not to look like you’ve been possessed when you wake up. Politeness is key. Check out our tips for different sleep chronotypes here.
final thoughts
The bedroom is sacred — it’s where we rest, recharge, and sometimes binge an entire Netflix series in one go. A little bit of kindness, compromise, and crumb-free sheets can go a long way in making it a harmonious space.
Now, go forth and sleep soundly (or at least, don’t roll onto a Pringle). Until next time, eve sleep.
