Let’s face it (pun absolutely intended), we’ve all tried some bizarre things in the name of getting better sleep. From lavender sprays that smell like your Nan’s perfume to those white noise machines that sound like you’re stuck in a wind tunnel, the world of sleep hacks is a wild place. But today, we’re diving headfirst into a trend that’s sticking (literally): mouth taping.
Yep, you read that right. Mouth taping... It’s exactly what it sounds like, taping your mouth shut while you sleep. Now, before you panic and wonder if this is a prank from an overly strict sleep coach, rest assured that this is the real deal. People are out here voluntarily slapping tape over their lips in the hopes of waking up refreshed, rested, and maybe a little less snore-prone. BUT HOW, GOD DANG IT?! Let’s break down this sleep trend with a healthy dose of humour because, honestly, how can we not? Huh?
the "why" of mouth taping: the world’s weirdest logic
If you’re wondering why someone would tape their mouth shut like they’re starring in a low-budget horror film, here’s the explanation: apparently, we’ve all been breathing wrong. Shocking, I know… The mouth-breathing you’ve been doing since birth? Turns out, that’s a big no-no. Who knew that something so natural could be so wrong? (Honestly, we should have figured this out during cold season, when mouth breathing turns you into Darth Vader with a sinus infection.)
Proponents of mouth taping say it forces you to breathe through your nose while you sleep, which is allegedly better for your overall health (1). It’s like nose-breathing is the VIP lounge of respiration, while mouth-breathing is the sketchy dive bar that overcharges for drinks, and where the floors are inexplicably sticky. Who wouldn’t want to upgrade?!
Nose-breathing, they say, can help reduce snoring, improve oxygen intake, and even make you feel more rested. Meanwhile, mouth-breathing is apparently the root cause of all your sleep problems, bad dreams, and that time you awkwardly snorted during a Teams call. So, naturally, the solution is to tape your mouth shut, because nothing says “relaxing sleep” like applying an adhesive to your face. I repeat NOTHING!
taping your mouth shut: the bedtime ritual you never knew you needed
So, you’ve decided to give this whole mouth taping thing a try. You’ve brushed your teeth, put on your pyjamas, and now, instead of applying lip balm, or a soothing face mask like a normal person, you reach for a roll of tape. Because this is your life now.
First, let’s acknowledge the awkwardness of taping your mouth shut before bed. This isn’t the kind of activity you can casually explain to your partner or roommate. They walk in to say goodnight, and there you are, looking like a sleep-deprived hostage in a rom-com gone wrong. It’s giving 50 Shades of Grey…
There are so many questions. What kind of tape should you use? (Pro tip: maybe don’t go for duct tape.) How do you avoid accidentally gluing your lips together forever? And, most importantly, how do you communicate when your mouth is literally sealed shut? Hand signals? Morse code? Lighting beacons!?
Then there’s the ritual itself. It’s not exactly the glamorous skincare routine you see on Instagram, let’s be honest, no one’s out here posting selfies with tape over their lips like, “Just another night of self-care, huns!” You’re more likely to end up looking like you’ve had a mishap in B&Q than a sleep guru.
the midnight panic: what have I done?
Let’s fast forward to 2 AM, the witching hour of all bad ideas. You’ve taped your mouth shut and fallen asleep, dreaming of beautifully restful, nose-breathing slumber. But wait, what’s this? You wake up in a panic, convinced you’ve somehow entered a silent horror movie, and now, you can’t breathe. Your first instinct? Tear the tape off like it’s the world’s most disappointing Christmas present…
You’re left sitting up in bed, mouth free but thoroughly traumatised, and likely in a great deal of pain, wondering how you got here. There’s tape stuck to your cheek, your pillow, and possibly your hair. You’ve escaped your own self-inflicted gag, but at what cost? Did you really think this was going to work? And now, all you have to show for it is the faint taste of adhesive on your lips, a lingering sense of regret, and a silky smooth lip area. (Silver linings for some. You know who you are.)
Not to mention, if you sleep next to someone, they’ve probably woken up to the sound of you frantically peeling tape off your face, and screaming as a result, and now they’re wide awake, questioning their life choices too. You might have just single-handedly ruined their night’s sleep and your own dignity. Well done you.
the morning after: a sticky situation
If you somehow make it through the night without ripping the tape off in a fit of claustrophobic terror, you wake up to discover something else: you’ve drooled. Oh yes, the tape hasn’t just kept your mouth shut, it’s turned your sleep into a bit of a sticky situation. There’s nothing quite like peeling tape off your lips, only to realise you’ve essentially created a DIY drool catcher. Gross, and also a lesser-known character from the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang movie.
But wait… There’s more! You might also discover that the tape has left an attractive little red mark around your lips, like you’ve been playing kissy-face with a roll of Sellotape. Forget pillow creases; you’ve now got adhesive indentations that perhaps give the wrong impression. People at work will likely need an explanation, and it’s safe to say they’re not going to believe the truth.
As you peel the tape off, you can’t help but feel like you’ve been betrayed by your own sleep experiment. Where’s the blissful, snore-free slumber you were promised? Why do you feel like you’ve just participated in a budget version of a hostage rescue mission!? So many questions.
the snoring saga: does it even work?
One of the biggest selling points of mouth taping is that it’s supposed to reduce snoring. The logic is that if you tape your mouth shut, you’ll be forced to breathe through your nose, thereby reducing those thunderous snores that could rattle the windows.
But here’s the catch: what if your snoring is so powerful, it defies the tape? What if you start snoring through the tape? Imagine the horror of waking up your partner with a muffled, tape-strangled snore, only to find them staring at you like you’ve become some kind of sleep-deprived cyborg. “You taped your mouth shut, and you’re STILL snoring?!” It’s the stuff of legends, or at least a cautionary tale for anyone thinking they can outsmart their body with a bit of tape. The movie rights have been bought, and James Cameron is on his way with the contracts as we speak!
conclusion: should you tape it or scrap tt?
So, after this hilarious and possibly traumatic journey, is mouth taping the sleep solution of the future, or just another absurd entry in the long list of weird wellness trends? Well, like all good sleep hacks, the answer is probably somewhere in the middle. If you’re genuinely desperate to try something new and you don’t mind the possibility of drool, tape prints, and the occasional midnight panic, go for it! At the very least, it’ll give you a hilarious story to tell your friends. Plenty of people do this, including several Olympic athletes, who swear by it! If it’s good enough for them, who are we to mock?!
But if the thought of taping your mouth shut fills you with dread (or just seems, you know, insane), maybe stick (hehehe) to less adhesive-based solutions. There are plenty of ways to improve your sleep that don’t involve part-mumification every night.
Until then, sweet dreams! And remember, if you do decide to tape up, keep a pair of scissors nearby—just in case. Though sharp objects near your beautiful face isn’t a good idea… Maybe just close your eyes, brace yourself, and rip. May the odds be ever in your favour.
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